Well, the first time I got naked with a boy, at 16, I did what anyone who was utterly relieved they weren’t the only one with funny looking genitalia would do: I laughed out loud. Now I know there’s a spectrum of possibilities, but back then I just assumed mine was weird. I mean, they don’t really give young girls any education in the what-your-vagina-might-look like department. “When I was a teen, I was pretty embarrassed about my vagina. He was a nice guy and didn’t make me go through with it. I actually covered my eyes and started crying because I wanted nothing to do with that rocket ship shaped thing, but I’d promised him I’d put my mouth on it for at least 30 seconds. Unfortunately, when my boyfriend unzipped his pants and whipped it out for the first time, all my fears were confirmed. I was terrified of the images of penises I’d seen from Googling, but I figured I’d have to take the leap at some point. In high school, I promised my boyfriend of six months that if he officially asked me to prom, we could move on from dry humping to some more exciting stuff. “For a long time, I was shy about boys and sex. As you can imagine, I was very popular for a while.”ĥ. I wanted to see as many as I could as quickly as possible. I thought they were so cool, the way grew and pulsated and responded to my touch. Raging teenage hormones! After I gave my first handy at 11, I became fascinated by penises. I developed early, and I had urges, you know. “I was one of those girls who was ahead of her time, sexually. It was so traumatizing, I waited another year before trying again.”Ĥ. Twenty seconds into my attempt to deep throat, I vomited all over him. But the guy I ended up in bed with had what I now know by comparison to be a giant penis. It wasn’t all that (excuse the pun) hard to find a willing partner. So I got wasted one night, determined to give head for the first time. “I didn’t perform oral sex on a guy until I was in college, at which point I was embarrassed because I couldn’t participate in conversations about dicks with my girlfriends.

So I screamed, ‘Daddy, there’s a snake eating your penis!’ Haven’t been able to live that one down.”ģ. He had a raging boner, but I had no idea about the whole morning wood thing yet.

But one day I walked into my parents’ bedroom when I was about five, and when my dad got up to go to the bathroom, I saw this thing protruding straight out from between his legs. So the first penis I was exposed to was my dad’s. “My super bohemian parents have always insisted on walking around our house naked. I even looked down to check that he was actually erect. The first time I reached into my ninth grade boyfriend’s pants to give him a handjob, I was shocked by what wasn’t there. But no one’s worried about the expectations women have about penis size from watching dirty videos featuring 10-inch dicks-and they probably should be. “Everyone’s always sobbing over the fact that dudes who watch too much porn develop a warped outlook on sex and how women should behave in bed and whatnot.

Fgrab that dick its your bitch